OCTOBER 21, 2020

Jesus … made Himself of no reputation. PHILIPPIANS 2:5-7 NKJV

The story is told of an ambitious student at a very competitive college. Just before entering his senior year he met an Eastern mystic who said, “Can’t you see you’re polluting your soul with this success-oriented way of living? Your idea of happiness is to work around the clock, to study so you can get a better grade than the next guy. That’s not how you are supposed to live. Come join us in a special place where we all share together and love one another.” Thinking it was a great idea, he called his parents and told them he was dropping out of school to live in a commune. Six months later they received a letter from him: “Dear Mom and Dad, I know you were upset about my decision. But I want to tell you how it has changed my life. For the first time, I’m at peace. Here there’s no competing, no trying to get ahead of anyone. This way of life is so in harmony with my inner self, that in only six months I’ve become the number two disciple in the entire commune. And I think I can be number one by June.” Hello!

When competition leads to excellence it’s a good thing, but not when it leads to striving! One day Christ’s disciples started arguing about who would be the greatest in His kingdom. Jesus listened, then He picked up a towel and a basin of water and began to wash their feet. When He finished they were speechless, their hearts exposed, their attitudes corrected. “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who … made Himself of no reputation.” Bottom line: serve, don’t strive!



Never Argue with a Child

A little girl was talking with her teacher about whales.

The teacher said that it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human being. Although whales are very large mammals their throats are very small to prevent such a thing ever happening.

The little girl declared with conviction that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human because it is physically impossible.

The little girl said, “When I get to heaven, I will ask Jonah!”

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”

The little girl quickly replied, “Then, you ask him!”


OCTOBER 20, 2020

The blood … cleanses us from all sin. 1 JOHN l:7 NKJV

John writes: “If we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.” This Scripture gives us three ways to stay clean in a spiritually polluted world: (1) By walking in the light. That means striving to be so honest before God and man, you wouldn’t be ashamed to have anyone read in tomorrow morning’s newspaper, what you did today. (2) By being accountable. To grow strong in an area of weakness, sometimes you need someone mature enough to deserve your confidence, gracious enough to put up with your inconsistencies, and honest enough to confront you. Above all, they should be committed to youin love. (3) By dealing with your sin right away. The moment that brings the consciousness of sin, should lead to the confession of sin. At that point you must believe that “the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us

from all sin,” then get up and go on with God; don’t wallow in self-condemnation.

If there’s something rotten in your refrigerator you know it every time you open the door. You may not know exactly where it’s located, but the smell tells you it’s in there. Our lives are like that. If there’s something wrong within us, those we come into contact with are going to sense it, whether or not they know what it is or why it’s there. It gives off an odor that’s detectable. That’s why we must continually open ourselves to God and allow the Holy Spirit to come in, cleanse our hearts, and remove whatever’s hindering us in our walk with Him.



The itinerant odd-jobs man knocked on the kitchen door for his lunch.

“And did you notice that big pile of wood over there?” asked the lady.

“Yeah, I seen it.”

“Mind your grammar,” snapped the lady. “You should say you saw it.”

“Lady,” returned the man, “You saw me see it, but ain’t seen me saw it.”



OCTOBER 19, 2020

A prudent man gives thought to his steps. PROVERBS 14:15 NIV

If you’re still making the same mistakes at fifty that you were at twenty, you need to ask God for wisdom. “The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge; the ears of the wise seek it out” (Pr 18:l5 NIV). What you are in the present, was determined by the decisions you made in the past. If you want to change your future, learn to make better decisions. Be wise; let these principles guide you:

(1) Never make permanent decisions based on temporary circumstances. If you do, you’ll regret it. (2) Don’t let your emo- tions blind you to reason. Pray, weigh things carefully and base your decisions on mature judgment. (3) Surround yourself with sharp people and draw on their gifts, without being intimidated by their expertise. (4) Take the time to consider all options. What looks good to you today, may not look so good tomorrow. (5) You can’t fight successfully on every front, so choose your battles carefully. Simply stated: some things are not worth fighting for. (6) Take time to get all the facts; conjecture leads to crisis. (7) Consider the consequences of each action. Ask yourself, “Am I ready to handle this right now?” (8) Make sure your expectations don’t exceed your potential and your resources. Be realistic. If you can’t count, don’t apply for a job in the finance office. If you can’t sing, don’t cut an album. Focus on what God gifted you to do. That’s where you’ll succeed. (9) Time is your most limited and valuable resource. Don’t waste it. (10) Allow yourself a 10 risk of being wrong, a 50 likelihood of betrayal, and a100 commitment to trust God, go forward and survive it all.



The pastor had just preached his farewell sermon and was greeting parishioners as they left the service.

One dear old lady shook his hand said “Oh, Pastor, we are really going to miss you. I know the next pastor will not be as good as you.”

The pastor was pleased at her remarks, but she continued, saying “I have been at this church for forty years. We have had six pastors, and each one has been worse than the one before him.”


October 15

God planted a garden … there He put the man whom He had formed. GENESIS 2:8 NKJV

Bible says: “God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it” (Ge 2:15 NIV). Today God may be saying to you, “I’ve prepared you, placed you where you need to be, planted blessings in your life that are scheduled to come up at different times, but now you’ve got to work it.” Stop looking for gardens that are already pruned; you have to prune your own garden. You have to go through your own struggles and shed your own tears, Of in the case of Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy’s, wait on tables and work your way up. When people give you stuff they can take it from you.

When God gives it to you, it’s yours! But you’ve got to take care of it. You have to prune your own children; they’re not going to turn out right if you neglect them (See Pr 22:6). You have to prune your own relationships; “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly” (Ps 1:1 NK.JV). You

have to prune your own business. That means honoring God as your partner, allowing Him to use your business to promote His business.

When you walk with God He’ll protect and prosper you, even in hard times. But you’ve still got to “work it.” Ask any farmer; wheat left unattended will eventually seed itself to death. It must be cultivated. There’s nothing wrong with your life-except that you’re expecting God to do things He’s expecting you to do. Come on, get some shears and start pruning!



​I’ve disconnected my home alarm system and de-registered from the Neighborhood Watch.

I’ve got two Pakistani flags raised in the front yard, one at each corner, and the black flag of ISIS in the center.

The local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7. I’ve never felt safer and I am saving $49.95 a month.


October 15

God planted a garden … there He put the man whom He had formed. GENESIS 2:8 NKJV

Notice, God placed the man in the garden, “eastward in Eden” (Ge 2:8 NKN). It’s not enough to be in the garden, you’ve got to be in the right location. You must pray, “Lord, place me in my garden.”

You learn a lot by raising children. You’re older and wiser, saying, “Don’t do that. Don’t go there.” But you can’t cut through the process. They have to stumble, because that’s how they learn to walk and find their way. Maybe you yourself worked at several jobs before figuring out what you were supposed to do. That’s because you weren’t “placed” yet. At some point, if you’re wise, you begin to pray, “Lord, don’t let me spend my life trying stuff, place me!”

You can be in the right place and not know it-because the place has been planted, not created! Dave Thomas, the founder of Wendy’s, was the child of an unwed mother. He recalls being ashamed of not having a decent pair of shoes to wear. Imagine: a school dropout, wearing shoes that don’t fit, working as a busboy waiting tables-but he has a six-billion-dollar business inside him. It doesn’t matter where you start, it just matters where you finish. You need to look in the mirror and announce, “There’s something in me that hasn’t come out yet. God, help me to be steadfast until You pull out of me what You planted in me.” Don’t let anyone convince you that you’re a failure because you don’t wear the right shoes, or have it all together right now. God has a place in mind for you. Just walk with Him and He’ll get you there.



Miscellaneous jokes to lighten up your day:

One casket to another: “Is that you coffin?”


Barber: “Haven’t I shaved you before, Sir?”

Customer: “No, I got that scar in Vietnam.”


What do fish and guests have in common?

They both smell after three days.


October 14

God planted a garden … there He put the man whom He had formed. GENESIS 2:8 NKJV

What does it mean to plant? To bury seeds beyond human, view so that they germinate and eventually produce fruit. In God’s plan for your life, He’s planted blessings you experience over time. Just because you walk out into a field and don’t see a crop, doesn’t mean the seeds aren’t there; God has planted things in your life that will come to fruition at different times.

It’s amazing that God would plant. Why would He go to such trouble when He could just speak a word and create it? Think of the love, the personal involvement of the Creator of the universe, as He stoops down and plants blessings to come up at different seasons in your life. Everything God has for you

hasn’t come up yet, so you can’t give up, or walk away and say, “That’s all there is.” No, God’s got some stuff planted that you haven’t seen or experienced. You’re still becoming what He planted. Knowing that reinforces your faith that it will happen. It also means God believes in you-even when you

don’t believe in yourself.

There are talents in you that haven’t been discovered and dreams that haven’t been fulfilled. That’s what the battle is about! The Devil is fighting you over your destiny. He knows what’s been planted in you and he’s trying to kill the seed. Don’t let him. You’re not the person you’ll be six months or six years

from now, because there’s a time factor; everything doesn’t come to harvest at the same time. You have to have faith and patience, otherwise you’ll miss what God has for you.



The school teacher was late for school and was driving too fast.

The light ahead turned yellow, she thought she could make it and raced forward. It turned red just before she entered the intersection.

Unfortunately, a policeman saw her run through the red light and he wrote her a ticket.

The school teacher hadn’t had a ticket in a long time. She thought she would ask the judge if she could go to traffic school and keep the ticket off her record.

“I have a good driving record; I am a school teacher and I would like to request that I be granted permission to go to traffic school,” she asked the judge.

“So you are a school teacher,” the judge said with a smile. “I have been waiting for this for years.”

“I will allow you to go to traffic school if you write 500 times I ran a red light and I promise never to do it again.”


October 13

God planted a garden … there He put the man whom He had formed. GENESIS 2:8 NKJV

Before God put Adam into the garden, He “formed” him. There’s a process of preparation God takes us through in order to make us what we need to be. But preparation takes time. God must deal with our inconsistencies, personality defects, areas of distrust, unresolved childhood issues, scars, flaws, etc. How long does it take? Only God knows. Admit it; even at your age don’t you still recognize some childish ways in yourself? Anybody else would have given up on you, but God has a plan and He’s committed to it. We should all wear a sign that says: “Work in progress. If you hire me, you need to know that. If you marry me, you need to know that. ”

The Bible says the Lord “formed man out of the dust of the ground” (Ge 2:7 NKJV). What’s God working with? Dirt! And the tools He uses to form you are the experiences you go through in life. They shape and alter you. And the more you keep trying to have it your way, the longer the process takes. It may take you five years to learn to quit people-pleasing, or ten years to stop feeling sorry for yourself, or twenty years to stop going back and reliving your childhood. All the while God is telling you, “Stop it,” and you’re saying, “Yeah, I know. I’m gonna do better.” Then finally a crisis happens and the truth hits you. At that point you say, “You know what? I’m going to forget those things which are behind and start reaching for those things which are before” (See Php 3:13).



God and Adam are walking through the garden of Eden when Adam asks God “God, why did you make Eve so soft?”

God answers Adam and states “Adam, so you will love her.”

Adam then asks, “Why did you make her so beautiful?”

God answers Adam and states “well Adam like I said it is so that you will love her.”

Adam then turns to God and states “okay, but why did you make her so ditsy?​

God answers Adam stating, “well Adam…that is so she will love you!” …


October 12

For I am the Lord. I speak, and the word which I speak will come to pass. EZEKIEL 12:25 NKJV

There are two possible explanations for what happened in Swan Quarter, North Carolina, in 1876. It was either the most astounding coincidence, or an act of God-literally. The Methodist Episcopal Church South needed a new building, so when somebody donated a lot on Oyster Creek Road they accepted. It was low-lying land so they constructed a sturdy little white-frame church and put it up on brick pilings. Days later a storm lashed the town and those within sight of Oyster Creek Road witnessed something amazing. The church building -still intact-was afloat! The flood had lifted it off its pilings and sent it down the road. They tried to moor it with ropes but the church moved on. At the town center, as dozens of people watched helplessly, it made a sharp, inexplicable right turn and continued on. Finally, in the same decisive manner it veered off the road, it headed straight for a vacant lot and stopped dead in

the center! The flood waters eventually receded but the building is still there. In fact, l30 years have passed since the church, now called Providence Methodist Church, floated itself to the most desirable property in town. What’s amazing is this: The lot where it settled had originally been the congregation’s first choice for their building, but landowner Sam Sadler turned them down. The morning after the flood, he presented the pastor with the deed.

“For I am the Lord. Ir speak, and the word which I speak will come to pass.” No doubt about it; when God makes up His mind, nothing gets in His way!



Doctor: “If I find an operation necessary, will you have the money to pay for it?”

​Patient: “If I don’t have the money to pay for it, will you still find the operation necessary?” …





Take Mark … he is profitable … for the ministry. 2 TlMOTHY 4:11

When John Mark decided to take time off to visit his family, it didn’t sit too well with Paul. Later when Barnabas wanted to take John Mark on their next mission’s trip, Paul exploded! “The contention became so sharp … they parted from one another … Barnabas took Mark and sailed to Cyprus; but Paul chose Silas” (Ac 15:38-40 NKJV). But the story doesn’t end there. Later, an older and wiser Paul who had learned to add grace to his grit, writes, “For Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world … [sol Take Mark, and bring him with thee: for he is profitable to me for the ministry” (2Ti 4:10-11).

There are three important lessons here for you:

(1) Always be willing to give someone a second chance. After all, that’s what God does for you. Now in extending grace you can get hurt and disappointed, but if you’re going to be Christ-like it’s a risk you must take. (2) Don’t measure everybody else by your standards and goals. The truth is, they may

not be called to do what you’re called to do. Or they may have been called to do it in a different way. Don’t make your personal preferences a precondition for loving, accepting and working with someone. (3) When you look for the best in others you usually find it. The Bible says, “We have this treasure in earthen vessels” (2Co 4:7). So every time you meet the treasure you’ll bump into the earthen vessel. Don’t allow that to devalue the treasure, or your responsibility to look for it. Motivated people

will rise to meet your expectations.




I would have given him 100%! 

Each answer is absolutely grammatically correct, and funny too.

The teacher had no sense of humor.


Q9.. How can a man go eight days without sleeping?*

* No problem, he sleeps at night.*


Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?*

*   You will never find an elephant that has one hand.*


Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have?*

* Very large hands*


Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?*

*No time at all, the wall is already built.*


Q13. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?*

*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.*



If a man’s gift is … leadership, let him govern diligently. ROMANS 12:6-8 NIV

Good leaders have intuition. They “see it” when others don’t; they “get it.” We all fall into three intuition levels:

(1) Those who will never see it. Putting these people into a leadership role is like putting a square peg in a round hole; you can keep hammering and driving it, but it won’t fit. When someone’s gifted to work in a support role, it’s a mistake to put them into a leadership role. Besides, every orchestra needs a good second fiddle. We’re only responsible for the gifts God gives us, not the ones we want-or other people think we should have.

(2) Those who are nurtured to see it. These folks have the raw material; they just need to be nurtured and mentored. Dr. John Maxwell points out that the ability to think like a leader is “informed intuition. ” These people just need someone to inform, instruct and inspire them, and they’ll become good leaders. The truth is, without intuition we’re condemned to be blindsided by events and opinions all of our lives. (3) Those who naturally see it. These are the ones who are born with true leadership gifts. They instinctively understand people and know how to move them from point A to point B. Even as children they act like leaders. Watch them on the playground and you will see everyone else following them. People with such God-given intuition can build on it, become great leaders and bless others. Now, if you want to see leadership in its finest form study the life of Christ, who said, “The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life” (Mt 20:28 NKJV).




I would have given him 100%! 

Each answer is absolutely grammatically correct, and funny too.

The teacher had no sense of humor.


Q5.. What is the main reason for failure?*

* exams*


Q6.. What can you never eat for breakfast?*

* Lunch & dinner*


Q7.. What looks like half an apple?*

* The other half*


Q8.. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what will it become?*

* Wet*


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