“Go after a life of love as if your life depended on it — because it does. Give yourselves to the gifts God gives you.  Most of all, try to proclaim his truth.”  1 Corinthians 14:1  The Message Bible

            Perhaps you read the story about a woman and her husband who came to a pastor and said, “We’re going to get a divorce, but we want to come to make sure that you approve of it.” There are people who come to the pastor hoping that when they say there is no feeling left in their marriage, the pastor will say, “Well, if there’s no feeling left, then, the only thing you can do is split.”

Instead, the pastor says to the husband, “The Bible says you’re to love your wife as Jesus Christ loved the church.”

He says, “Oh, I can’t do that.”

The pastor says, “If you can’t begin at that level, then begin on a lower level. You’re supposed to love your neighbor as you love yourself. Can you at least love her as you would love a neighbor?”

The husband says, “No. That’s still too high a level.”

The pastor says, “The Bible says, Love your enemies. Begin there.”

            Who is it in your life that you have a hard time loving?  Maybe you need to begin at the level of “loving your enemy.”  We must be willing to live the kind of love that will cause us to lay down our life for another.  It is the example that Christ lay down for us.

            But God never asks us to do anything without first giving us the supply first.  The Fruit of the Spirit is “Love…”  God has already given you the gift of Love.  You don’t have to spend any of your own, it is his supply that He is pouring through you.

            Every one of God’s Blessings is a reminder that God has given you an abundant supply of His love to reach others with the testimony of God’s Love. Share it with someone today.

            Pastor Don



From The Guardian concerning a sign seen in a Police canteen in Christchurch, New Zealand:  ‘Will the person who took a slice of cake from  the Commissioner’s Office  return it immediately.  It is needed as evidence in a poisoning case.’

From The Derby Abbey Community News:   “We apologize for the error in the last edition, in which we stated that ‘Mr Fred Nicolme is a  Defective in the Police Force’. This was a typographical error. We meant of course that Mr Nicolme is a detective  in  the Police Farce.”

            One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company.  He deals with the usual complaints regarding poor pager operation, as well as the occasional crank caller demanding to be paged less often, more often, or by more interesting people.

            The best call came from a man who repeatedly complained that he keeps being paged by “Lucille.”  He was instructed that he would have to call her and tell her to stop paging him.

            “She don’t never leave no number, so I can’t call her back,” he said.

            After three such calls, someone thought to ask how he knew it was Lucille if she didn’t leave a number.

            “She leaves her name,” was the reply.

            After establishing that the customer had a numeric-only pager, the light bulb came on.

            “How does she spell her name?” the service rep asked.

            “L-O-W  C-E-L-L”



            “Friends, wait patiently for the Master’s Arrival.  You see farmers do this all the time, waiting for their valuable crops to mature, patiently letting the rain do its slow but sure work.  Be patient like that. Stay steady and strong. The Master could arrive at any time.”   James 5:7-8     The Message Bible

                        Many years ago, while driving through Dallas, Texas for an assignment for Southwestern College, we heard the weatherman state that there was a 40% chance of thunderstorms in the Dallas area. 

            He then explained it like this. “In order to understand what a 40% chance of rain is, you have to take a map of the city and divide it into a grid of 100 equal squares.  Then mark each square where a picnic is planned, or someone is washing their car or has a major outside project underway.  When you have 40 squares marked, then you know where it is most likely to rain in the city.”

            Well, it is a humorous way to calculate the chance of rain, but how often during a drought, have you washed the car or planned something outside, only to find that is seemed to bring in the rain.

            One of my favorite stories is that of Sister Edge, the wife of the first pastor I ever had. While living in Elizabeth City, North Carolina, they were in a severe drought, and Sister Edge, the prayer warrior that she was, called for a community prayer meeting to intercede for rain.  On the day scheduled everyone came to church “to pray”, but Sister Edge told them, “There is no need to pray today.  Only one person had the faith to bring an umbrella.”

            Like Elijah today, I’m looking for a cloud.  Not even a rain cloud.  I’m looking for a cloud that will accompany our Lord Jesus Christ as He returns.  I’m marking my grid of prophecies.  It’s nearing the 100 percent mark.  When it’s completed, Christ will return.  I think I see a cloud forming in the East. Did we bring our umbrellas of faith?  Tell someone that Jesus may come before the next Thunderstorm.  BE READY!

            Pastor Don


A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache. Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post operation shock, spoke to the doctor about it.

“Don’t worry about a thing, nurse,” the doctor assured her. “He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic.”


A married couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. At the party everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay married so long in this day and age.

The husband responded “When we were first married we came to an agreement. I would make all the major decisions and my wife would make all the minor decisions. And in 60 years of marriage we have never needed to make a major decision.”



   I spoke at a middle school in the spring of 1995.  When the program was over, the principal asked me if I would pay a visit to a special student.  An illness had kept the boy

  home, but he had expressed an interest in meeting me, and the principal knew it would mean a great deal to him.  I agreed.

       During the nine-mile drive to his home, I found out some things about Matthew.  He had muscular dystrophy.  When he was born, the doctors told his parents that he would not live to see 5, then they were told he would make it to 10. He was 13 and from what I was told, a real fighter.  He wanted to meet me because I was a gold-medal power lifter,

  and I knew about overcoming obstacles and going for your dreams.

       I spent over an hour talking to Matthew.  Never once did he complain or ask, “Why me?”  He spoke about winning and succeeding and going for his dreams.  Obviously, he knew what he was talking about.  He didn’t mention that his classmates had made fun of him because he was different; he just talked about his hopes for the future, and how one day he wanted to lift weights with me.

     When we finished talking, I went into my briefcase and pulled out the first gold medal I won for power lifting and put it around his neck.  I told him he was more of a winner and knew more about success and overcoming obstacles than I ever would.  He looked at it for a moment, then took it off and handed it back to me.  He said, “Rick, you are a champion.  You earned that medal.  Someday, when I get to the Olympics and win my gold medal, I will show it to you.”

       Last summer I received a letter from Matthew’s parents telling me that Matthew had passed away.  They wanted me to have a letter he had written to me a few days before.

 Dear Rick,

    My mom said I should send you a thank-you letter for the neat picture you sent me.  I also wanted to let you know that the doctors tell me I don’t have long to live anymore. It is getting very hard for me to breathe and I get tired very easy, but I still smile as much as I can.  I know that I will never be as strong as you and I know we will never get to lift weights together.

     I told you someday I was going to go to the Olympics and win a gold medal.  I know now I will never get to do that. But I know I am a champion, and God knows that too.  He knows I am not a quitter, and when I get to heaven, God will give me my gold medal, and when you get there, I will show it to you. Thanks for loving me.

   Your friend,


By Rick Metzger  from Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul

  Copyright 1997 by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen and

  Kimberly Kirberger



My dad, an auto mechanic, received a repair order that read: “Check for clunking sound when going around corners.” Taking the car out for a test drive, he made a right turn, and a moment later he heard a clunk. He then made a left turn and again heard a clunk.

Back at the shop, he opened the car’s trunk, and soon discovered the problem. Promptly he returned the repair order to the service manager with this notation: “Remove bowling ball from trunk”.


The Minister was shaking everyone’s hand while they were leaving the Church, an elderly gentleman said “Reverend that was the worst sermon I’ve ever listened to, it was terrible”.

While the Minister remained speechless, the gentleman’s wife wanting to be helpful said, “Reverend, please don’t listen to him, he only repeats what he hears other people saying.”



            “I am the Good Shepherd.  The Good Shepherd puts the sheep before himself, sacrifices himself if necessary… I know my own sheep and my own sheep know me.”  John 10:11-14  The Message Bible

  Horror gripped the heart of the World War I soldier as he saw his lifelong friend fall in battle. Caught in a trench with continuous gunfire whizzing over his head, the soldier asked his lieutenant if he might go out into the “No Man’s Land” between the trenches to bring his fallen comrade back.

  “You can go,” said the Lieutenant, “but I don’t think it will be worth it. Your friend is probably dead and you may throw your own life away.” The Lieutenant’s words didn’t matter, and the soldier went anyway.

  Miraculously he managed to reach his friend, hoist him onto his shoulder, and bring him back to their company’s trench. As the two of them tumbled in together to the bottom of the trench, the officer checked the wounded soldier, then looked kindly at his friend. “I told you it wouldn’t be worth it,” he said. “Your friend is dead, and you are mortally wounded.”

  “It was worth it, though, sir,” the soldier said.

  “How do you mean, `worth it?’ ” responded the Lieutenant. “Your friend is dead!”

  “Yes sir,” the private answered. “But it was worth it because when I got to him, he was still alive, and I had the satisfaction of hearing him say, `Jim, I knew you’d come.’ ”

  God has seen you fall in battle and He has come to rescue you.  What would He hear you say, as He got near you?

  A good shepherd always takes care of his flock. His livelihood and life depend on his ability to care for his sheep.  How much more does God, the GOOD SHEPHERD take care of you.  Count those Blessings today

            Pastor Don



On the church newsletter were these instructions – Hold this paper close to your nose and breath deeply.

If the sheet turns green, you need to see a doctor.

If it turns blue see your dentist.

If it turns red see your bank manager.

If it turns black, you need to check your will so see your lawyer immediately.

If, however, it does not change color then there is nothing wrong with you and so there is no reason why you should not be in church again next week.


Two women were discussing reincarnation.  One asked the other if her husband believed in it.  The second woman said, “Does my husband believe in life after death?  My husband doesn’t even believe in life after dinner!”


 A little boy’s prayer. “Dear God, please take care of my daddy and  my mommy and my sister and my brother and my doggy and me. Oh, please  take care of yourself, God. If anything happens to you, we’re gonna be in a big mess.”




            “Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking.  Instead, fix your attention on God.  You’ll be changed from the inside out.  Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it.  Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.”  Romans 12:2  The Message Bible

            A man was concerned about the amount of “little things” that were creeping into the lives of his children.  He cautioned them about the TV shows that used foul language.  He saw them making decisions that were just a little off center of their faith.  He saw them develop prejudice against others, however slight it started.

            Lecture after lecture did nothing to remedy the situation.  Instead, all he got was the usual, “Everyone else is doing it.” Or “It’s just a little problem, it won’t affect me.”

            One day he got an idea of how to get his concerns across.  He asked them to join him in baking their favorite pie.  Eager hands joined in to gather all the ingredients and get everything ready for the cooking lesson.  Running here and there, everyone was excited about the joint effort

Midway through the mixing process, he sent one child outside to get a cup of dirt.  Thinking it strange they ran outside and complied with his request.  But when he took the dirt and began to add a Tablespoon to the pie mixture, all the children gasped. 

“What are you doing, Father?”  “Why are you putting dirt in the pie?”

The Father replied, “Well, I’ve never added dirt to the recipe before, and was wondering if it would not enhance the nutritional value of the pie.  After all, it does wonders for the grass.  Maybe it would help us to grow straight and tall.”

The children replied, “but it will taste terrible and ruin the pie.”

Dad countered, “But it is just a little bit of dirt. It won’t affect the taste, and it’s my pie, so I can do anything I want to do to it.”

The children learned quickly that day that a “little dirt” in whatever you watch or hear, WILL AFFECT YOU.  It is better to leave it alone than be fed the “dirt” of the world.

            What excuse do we have for allowing the dirt, however small the dose, to be fed us today.  We could be eating on the pure honey of God’s Word.  Why not enjoy the BEST ingredients of life

            Pastor Don


One Liner Signs

On the menu of a New Orleans restaurant …”Blackened bluefish”

In a Maine restaurant … “Open seven days a week and weekends.”

On an established New Mexico dry cleaning store … “Thirty-eight years on the same spot.”

On a New York convalescent home … “For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church”

Outside a country shop in West Virginia … “We buy junk and sell antiques.”

In a Tacoma, Washington men’s clothing store … “15 men’s wool suits – $100 – They won’t last an hour!”

A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O’Hare Field in Chicago … “Do not activate with wet hands.”

In a New York restaurant … “Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.”

In the offices of a New Jersey loan company …”Ask about our plans for owning your home.”

In the window of an Oregon general store … “Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?”

In downtown Boston … “Callahan Tunnel – NO END”

On a poster on a telephone pole in Oregon …”Are you an adult that cannot read? If so, we can help.”

On a Tennessee highway … “Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable.”

On the grounds of a private school in Connecticut … “No trespassing without permission.”

In a New York medical building … “Mental Health Prevention Center”




            “I’ll run the course you lay out for me if you’ll just show me how.  GOD, teach me lessons for living so I can stay the course.  Give me insight so I can do what you tell me . . .my whole life one long, obedient response.  Psalms 119:32-34  The Message Bible.

            There are many ways people handle road trips these days.  There are the ones who plan weeks ahead by getting the series of road maps from their travel club and study intently the suggested routes carrying them to their destination.  Two weeks before the trip they can tell you which roads they will be taking and how long it should take them to get to each destination point.

            Then there are the individuals who get the maps, but never look at them until they are in the car and have started out the driveway.  They trust the maps, but just will take it segment by segment.

            Then there is the person who gets the maps but never looks at them until they think they are lost, and the maps can get them back on the proper course.  They are always trying to find “shortcuts” from where they are, back to the proper route.

            And finally is the person who needs no map, taking the roads as they come hoping that each one will bring the right direction and the right destination.

            Life has been given a roadmap to get us to the proper destination by traveling the right roads.  This roadmap, the BIBLE, is always available, but is not always used.  GOD, the author, has set all the right roads to save the most heartaches and disappointments.  He’s already marked the areas of construction and the detours to save us frustrations.  He gives the scenic route sometimes, the quickest route, but most often gives the most reliable route to get to Heaven.  He cares not only about the destination but the route that gets us there.

            Some will study this roadmap intently, knowing ahead of time each turn and change they must make.  Some will use it regularly to direct their path, but not plan too far into the future with it.  Some will use it only to get back on course when they discover that they’ve made a wrong turn.  Some will never open it. 

            GOD has laid out the course for your life.  Have you looked at His map lately?

                        Pastor Don


1. The Rewards of Lying

A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.

The group surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked “What are you doing with that dog?” One of the boys replied, “This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we’ve decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog.”

Of course, the reverend was taken aback.  “You boys shouldn’t be having a contest telling lies!” he exclaimed.  He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, “Don’t you boys know it’s a sin to lie,” and ending with, “Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie.”

There was dead silence for about a minute.  Just as the reverend was beginning to think he’d gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, “All right, give him the dog.”


Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to God’s kids.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was: “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” Adam replied.

“Don’t eat the forbidden fruit.” God said.

“Forbidden fruit? We got forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve…we got Forbidden Fruit!”

” No way!”

” Yes WAY!”

“Don’t eat that fruit!” said God.


“Because I’m your Father and I said so!” said God, wondering why he hadn’t stopped after making the elephants. A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry.

“Didn’t I tell you not to eat that fruit?” the First Parent asked.

“Uh huh,” Adam replied.

“Then why did you?”

“I dunno,” Eve answered.

“She started it!” Adam said.

“Did Not!”

“DID so!”


Having had it with the two of them, God’s punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. But there is a reassurance in this story. If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give them wisdom and they haven’t taken it, don’t be hard on yourself. If God had trouble handling 2 children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?



            “Have you ever come on anything quite like this extravagant generosity of God, this deep, deep wisdom?  It’s way over our heads… “Is there anyone around who can explain God?… Everything comes from him:  Everything happens through him; Everything ends up in him. Always glory!  Always praise!  Romans 11:33-36  The Message Bible

            At a Kansas City baseball game last year, between innings, they put a little puzzle on the score board. They had the outline of a baseball player and a trivia question; you try to guess who the player is. They started off by filling in one piece of the puzzle, and it’s was the bill of a ball cap. Nobody figured out who it was at first; everybody was trying. As the pieces come together people start to talk. An excitement begins to mount. Why? They began to see a face, and they were beginning to hone in on who that baseball player is.  Finally, you could hear shouts all over the stadium as they realized who the mystery player was.

I’m here to tell you that we usually get one piece of the puzzle. In God’s sovereignty and God’s timing, many of the things that happen to you and many of the things that happen to me make us just shake our heads and say, “I don’t understand. I don’t understand this in my life

            God’s awesome Blessings that come in our lives come in so many unexpected ways.  You have to be on the constant lookout for the way that God will choose to work this week. 

            Recently we have begun to encouraged people to give a brief testimony of what God has done the previous week.  It is amazing how people will testify of such simple blessings that I may have taken for granted.  It reminds me of the wonderful God we serve and His unique concern for His people. Last Sunday, we had several such testimonies.

            Maybe you need to share God’s Blessings with someone today.  You may have a piece of the puzzle that they need to complete the picture of God that they need in their life.  And maybe they have a piece that you need to have in yours.

Pastor Don



A friend and I were standing inside a building of a local theme park. We were looking outside, and it was an extremely windy day. The area’s custodian, the one who had the job of sweeping up debris, was a very small woman (4’10”, 90 lbs.) and she was having a rough time trying to not be blown away.

My friend joked with the lady, telling her that she would have to put heavy rocks in her shoes when she went outside to work.

The lady looked at my friend and lisped, “You mean, … now I weigh me down to sweep?”


In a country home that seldom had guests, the young son was eager to help his mother after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office. When the dinner was nearly over, the boy went to the kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple pie, giving it to his father, who passed it to a guest. The boy came in with a second piece of pie and gave it to his father, who again gave it to a guest. This was too much for the boy, who said, “It’s no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size.”




            “God’s glory is on tour in the skies… unspoken truth is spoken everywhere.”  Psalm 19:1,4  The Message Bible

            “One August night, my children dragged me to the backyard to watch a meteor shower. I reluctantly joined them thinking, I have so many details to tend to before we leave on vacation. I don’t have time for idleness. Suddenly, golden fire balls streaked across the blackness. “God made this,” I whispered. It was a rare moment. Not because of the sight, but because I stepped beyond my familiar world into one of wonder and discovered the Creator in the midst. Could it be God filled the world with such beauty to lift people like me away from our obsession with details–to touch our lives with a magnificent awareness of himself? (Sue Monk Kidd, Today’s Christian Woman, “Heart to Heart.”).

            How many times have you and I found that the simple things in life…. like star gazing, have such profound influence on our lives.  Just to sit and dream about all of God’s creation brings bits and pieces of our faith into greater reality. 

            I’ve never been one to remember the constellations and their names.  My wife and our children all have a sense for spotting the stars in their habitation. It almost reminds me of the cartoon, Peanuts, when Charlie Brown and Linus are laying on their backs looking at cloud formation.  Charlie Brown asks Linus, “What do you see in the clouds?”  To which Linus replies, “I see two great forces, representing good and evil, engaged in a cosmic battle for the command of the Universe.  Among their members, are the idyllic dramas of life, as they wage their ongoing battle.  Over there are the faces of the lost and uninformed souls of this world, and on that side are the powers that control their destiny.  Facing each other indicates the great conflict of eternity.”  “What do you see, Charlie Brown?”.  Charles replies, “I was going to say, there is a doggie and an upside down umbrella.”

            My family sees things in the skies that I can only imagine are there.  I take their word for it.  And so must those people trust our word when we tell them that God is in control of this creation.

            When life gets you down, don’t hang your head.  Look up, God is “on tour in the skies…”  See His hand at work in your behalf.

            Pastor Don


The department store salesman had almost completed his pitch to the woman to convince her to buy one of those miniature washing machines.

She paused and considered it, while watching it in action. Finally, she said, “Sir. I want my clothes agitated — not just irked.”


A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police.  The officer looked at the guy’s photograph, questioned her, and then asked if she wanted to give her husband any message if they found him.

“Yes, please” she replied.  “Tell him my mother didn’t come over after all.”




            “When they were together for the last time they asked, “Master, are you going to restore the kingdom to Israel now?  Is this the time?”  He told them, “You don’t get to know the time.  Timing is the Father’s business. What you’ll get is the Holy Spirit.  And when the Holy Spirit comes on you, you will be able to be my witness in Jerusalem, all over Judea and Samaria, even to the ends of the world.”   Acts 1:6-8       The Message Bible.

            There’s a slogan running through the church right now, “God’s never Late, He’s always ON TIME.”  God always does come through and yes, sometimes it’s just in the nick of time for us, but He’s always got room to spare.

            There is the story of the man who asked God, “Is it true that a thousand years is but a second to you?” And God said, “Yes that’s true.”

            “And is it true that a million dollars is like a penny to you?” And God said, “Yes, that’s true.”

            Then the man asked, “Can I have a penny?”

            And God said, “Just a second!”

            God’s timing is not always the timing that makes us most comfortable.  But it definitely builds trust.  I wonder if God is not just seeing if we really believe what we say we believe.  Faith is not just knowing God will work it out in time.  Faith is releasing the praise even before it happens. 

            Seeing God work things out, even if it is at the last possible second, is a witness to the world that there is a God who does care and gets the job done.

            Today, tell someone about how God is working out a situation for you.  Give God credit for the timely answer to prayer.  It will help them trust God.

Pastor Don



There was once a Polish guy who had a Jewish neighbor. He went to visit him and wanted to know why the Jews are so smart.

“We eat a lot of fish,” said the Jew.

“Can I have some?”

“It’s gonna cost you $100 a piece.”

“If that’s gonna make me smarter, I’m willing to try,” said the pole.

He ate a piece of it and then said to the Jew, “You know, this is quite a lot of money for a simple piece of fish. I really don’t believe I should have paid such a sum.”

“You see, it already works…”

Posted from Jewish Humor Mailing List


The preacher was growing concerned about sparse attendance, so he published this item in the church bulletin:

This . . . is . . . the . . . way . . . the . . . church . .. sometimes . .  . looks . . . to . . . the . . . preacher .. . when . . . he . . . goes . .  . into . . . the . . .pulpit.




            “I can’t tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide open, spacious life…. Your lives aren’t small, but you’re living them in a small way.  I’m speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection.  Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!  2 Corinthians 6:11-13  The Message Bible.

            Many years ago, we had planned a trip from Virginia to California to visit Judy’s Sister and family out there.  We had traveled for over two days, (12 hours a day in an automobile) crossing through, Virginia, Tennessee, Arkansas and Oklahoma.  There had been many stretches of “open” road in between the big cities of Richmond, Knoxville, Nashville, Memphis, Little Rock and Oklahoma City.

            But I was not prepared for the “Openness” of the land on the Western side of Oklahoma.  It seemed like it could go on “forever”.  I wondered how the earliest settlers handled the massive stretches of land without much to guide their way. 

            Being used to the big trees and flourishing undergrowth, it was hard to imagine the vast desert areas of the West. But there we were, our family of four riding in the small confines of our automobile with all this spaciousness surrounding us.  Self imposed restrictions held us within this small space while God’s playground spread around us.

            Often we find ourselves traveling on some predetermined path of life.  Our plans lay before us keeping us traveling in our little automobile of time travel, while God has created this expanse of His Plans and goals for us to walk in.  God has stretched the limits of what we can do to allow us to grow more like Himself.  His openness is full of His blessing, provision and beauty.  If we would allow God to plan our journey, He would take us to so many new places and heights.  His ways are beyond our ways.  His goals are above anything we can ask or think.

            Don’t let self-imposed limitations stop you from exploring the areas of God’s domain.  Don’t live your life in a small way, when you’ve got the painted desert before you.  Explore.  That’s how America grew.  That’s how we will grow in Christ.

            Pastor Don


You Know You’re Old When …

Everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt,     doesn’t work.

You feel like the morning after when you haven’t     been anywhere the night before.

You get winded playing chess.

Your children begin to look middle aged.

You know all the answers, but nobody     asks you the questions.

You look forward to a dull evening.

You turn off the lights for economic rather than     romantic reasons.

You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.

You are 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist,      96 around the golf course.

You just can’t stand people who are intolerant.

You burn the midnight oil until 9:00 P.M.

Your back goes out more often than you do.

Your pacemaker raises the garage door when you      see a pretty girl go by.

The little gray-haired lady you help across the street      is your wife.

You get exercise acting as a pallbearer for friends      who exercise.

You have too much room in the house and not     enough in the medicine cabinet.

You sink your teeth into a steak … and they stay      there.

Murphy’s Law of Teaching

* The clock in the instructor’s room will be wrong.

* Disaster will occur when visitors are in the room.

* A subject interesting to the teacher will bore students.

* The time a teacher takes in explaining is inversely proportional to the information retained by students.

* A meeting’s length will be directly proportional to the boredom the speaker produces

* Students who are doing better are credited with working harder. If children start to do poorly, the teacher will be blamed.

* The problem child will be a school board member’s son.

* When the instructor is late, he will meet the principal in the hall. If the instructor is late and does not meet the principal, the instructor is late to the faculty meeting.

* New students come from schools that do not teach anything.

* Good students move away.

* When speaking to the school psychologist, the teacher will say : “weirdo” rather than “emotionally disturbed.”

* The school board will make a better pay offer before the teacher’s union negotiates.

* The instructor’s study hall be the largest in several years.

* The administration will veiw the study hall as the teacher’s preparation time.

* Clocks will run more quickly during free time.

* On a test day, at least 15% of the class will be absent

* If the instructor teaches art, the principal will be an ex-coach and will dislike art.  If the instructor is a coach, the principal will be an ex-coach who took a winning team to the state.

* Murphy’s Law will go into effect at the beginning of an evaluation.


A newly married man asks his wife, “Would you have married me if  my father hadn’t left me a fortune?”

“Darling,” the woman replies sweetly, ” I’d have married you no matter who left you a fortune.


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