Thank You Jesus for every blessing You’ve given me. Thank You for every good thing in my life. Thank You Lord, that You make me rejoice. Thank You that I can have joy, and sit before You now to praise You for it.

Take this time while in the secret place to consider all the blessings God has given you. Think of everything, and worship Him for it. Spend the next few moments worshiping Him and reflecting on anything He may lay in your heart at this time.

“You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will thank You forever.” Ps 30:11-12

From 30 Prayers of Praise by Adam Houge


  1. There are six classes of musical instruments:

“string,” “woodwind,” “brass,” “percussion,” “keyboard”

and “other.” In which is the harmonica?

  1. “Other.”


The Omaha Herald in 1877 printed this advisory to

passengers of stage coaches: “Spit on the leeward side.”


 Medical records contain accounts of women who’ve given

themselves cesarean sections and men who’ve given

themselves appendectomies.


  1. “Why do city dogs live longer, statistically, than

country dogs?”

  1. Small dogs live longer than large dogs, and city dogs

tend to be of the smaller variety.



Lord, You’ve been so good to look on the many afflictions of Your servant and to deliver me out of them all. Your hand is so kind and You always lead me in the way gently. I’m not deserving of Your goodness Lord. Thank You for everything You’ve done to save me out of every trial, tribulation, and persecution.


Reflect upon the ways God has delivered you. Not only in salvation, but in all things He has saved you in. 

Reflect upon the various trials of life and how God made them all come together for your good. Then as you reflect, worship Him because of His faithfulness. Worship Him because He is your salvation in EVERYTHING.

“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” Ps 27:13

“But you have carefully followed my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, love, perseverance, persecutions, afflictions, which happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra – what persecutions I endured. And out of them all the Lord delivered me. Yes and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.” 2 Tim 3:10-12

From 30 Prayers of Praise by Adam Houge



The Second Ten Commandments

  1. Thou shall not worry, for worry is the most unproductive of all human activities.
  2. Thou shall not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never come to pass.
  3. Thou shall not cross bridges before you come to them, for no one yet has succeeded in accomplishing this.
  4. Thou shall face each problem as it comes. You can only handle one at a time anyway.
  5. Thou shall not take problems to bed with you, for they make very poor bedfellows.
  6. Thou shall not borrow other people’s problem, They can better care for them than you can.
  7. Thou shall not try to relive yesterday for good or ill, it is forever gone. Concentrate on what is happening in your life and be happy now!
  8. Thou shall be a good listener, for only when you listen do you hear ideas different from your own. It is hard to learn something new when you are talking, and some people do know more than you do.
  9. Thou shall not become “bogged down” by frustration, for 90% of it is rooted in self-pity and will only interfere with positive action.
  10. Thou shall count thy blessings, never overlooking the small ones, for a lot of small blessings add up to a big one



Lord, thank You for everything You’ve done for me. Thank You that I can have you and meet with You here in this place. God, who am I that You, the Lord of All, would grace me with Your presence?  I’m not worthy of You! I’ve sinned against You in so many ways and yet You love me!?  Thank You Jesus! Thank You for everything You endured for me! You are worthy of my worship! You deserve my adoration and praise. God, I’m meeting here with You today to give You exactly that. To give You the praise and worship You deserve. Meet with me now as I worship You. Fill me Lord, with Your Spirit!


The Lord has been so faithful in everything He’s done for you. He didn’t withhold His only Son from death that He could show you just how much He loves you and save you. And why? Because He wants you, and wants a relationship with you. He wants to hold and cherish you and make you His.

You are His special treasure. Jesus said that if a man finds a precious pearl or finds a field full of treasure, he will give all that he has for that pearl or field. Beloved, do you not understand? You are His pearl, worth giving everything for. He’s proven it by what He’s done for you. He gave everything for you because He counted you as His special treasure. He counted you as someone worth dying for and calls you likewise to sacrifice your life in this world for Him. He has loved you so much. Why shouldn’t you give your all for Him?

He endured the cross for the joy set before Him. But what was His joy? He began as Lord of all sitting on Heaven’s throne. Being raised from the dead and sitting at the right hand of the Father wasn’t His only joy that He was receiving. He came from there to begin with. He came to this earth to gain something that would increase His joy.

So what then did He hope to gain through His cross? You! You beloved are the joy that was set before Him. You are His treasure worth giving everything for. He has loved you so much. Is He not worthy of all your adoration and affection! Devote yourself to Him now, and meet with Him in the place of worship. God deserves your praises because He loves you so much. Let’s worship because of His Worth-ship.

With everything He is and everything He’s done, He has loved you. Take this time to love Him back now. Sit in the secret place and worship Him for all that He’s done. Remain there in His presence and be rejuvenated by His Spirit. Worship Him now and be recharged in His presence. Then carry the joy He gives you for the rest of the day. Be diligent to share that joy with others and to be a light to them.

“The Lord lives! Blessed be my Rock! Let the God of my salvation be exalted.” Ps 18:46

From 30 Prayers of Praise by Adam Houge



FYI  – For your information

  1. What’s the difference between a pie and a tart?
  2. The tart is open faced.


 A mother’s observation: “My son has to be pushed into the bathroom, and dragged out of the pool. My daughter has to be dragged out of the bathroom, and pushed into the pool.”


 You’re always in the exact center of the rainbow you see.

This is not just philosophical, it’s scientifically accurate.


 “Ukraine” means “frontier.” You know the religious denomination there that’s growing fastest?  Baptist.


 Takes a newborn chameleon a couple of weeks to change colors to match backgrounds. It’s born white.



          “You’ve always been great toward me – what love!  You snatched me from the brink of disaster!…  You, O God, are both tender and kind,  not easily angered, immense in love, and you never, never quit.”  Psalm 86:13,15  The Message Bible

          Most of us have had times when we were on the brink of disaster and God had to come to our rescue.  It is amazing that we often say, “I couldn’t do anything else, so I prayed.”  It is a shame that when the most powerful weapon of our spiritual warfare, prayer, gets relegated to the “last” resort.  But God in his Omnipotent Patience is always still there to aid and rescue us.

          Has there ever been a time in your life when God did not extend His love to you?  Notice I didn’t say, has there ever been a time when God didn’t give you YOUR way?…. God’s love reaches us with what James Dodson has often referred to as “Tough Love”.  Not granting us what we want, but giving us what we need.  It is His tough love that keeps on giving and giving and giving.

          And the Psalmist recognized another truth about God’s love.  “He is not easily angered..”  In a day when sports figures fight at the drop of a hat, and most of the time don’t even have to drop a hat, and when violence rules our schools and businesses,  God is not easily angered with our careless acts of disobedience.   If we were to have this same kind of patience, what a different world we would live in.

          Jesus told Peter to forgive “seventy times seven times.”  In other words, you can’t forgive enough times.  But we barely are able to forgive a small injustice, let alone one that hurts or affects us greatly.  God, “immense in love” reaches arms around all of the affected parties and draws them to himself first and then to each other.  No greater love has anyone ever shared.

          And finally, God never quits.  A statement made about one of our pastors touched me yesterday.  It was said that this pastor never quits.  When a member made a mistake, the pastor would be there to restore such him to the kingdom.  The comment was that no matter how many times that member “backslid” that pastor would be at his doorstep.  Today, there are many active Christians, heading for Heaven because that pastor would not quit.  I wonder if there is someone that we have given up on?.. God hasn’t quit, why should we?

          Pastor Don



Questions to ponder –

 Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

 If a word were misspelled in a dictionary, how would we ever know?

 If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

 Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

 Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?

 Why does fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

 Why do ‘tug’ boats push their barges?

 Why do we sing ‘Take me out to the ball game’, when we are already there?

 Why are they called ‘stands’ when they’re made for sitting?

 Why is it called ‘after dark’, when it is really after light?

 Doesn’t ‘expecting the unexpected’ make the unexpected expected?

 Why are wise man and wise guy opposites?

 Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

 Why is phonics not spelled the way it sounds?

 If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

 If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

 If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

 If you’re cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

 Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?

 Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

 How come abbreviated is such a long word?

 Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?

 Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

 Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?


A man who had been dating a girl for several years took her to a Japanese restaurant. After looking over the menu a while he asked her, How would you like your rice — fried or boiled?    She looked him straight in the eye and said, Thrown.       


NOVEMBER 5        

          “You’re all I want in heaven!  You’re al I want on earth!.. I’m in the very presence of God – Oh, how refreshing it is!”  Psalm 73:25,28  The Message Bible

          There’s a domino effect that starts to manifest itself when you praise and worship God. When you open up yourself to tell God how wonderful He is and how much you love Him and enjoy spending time with Him…you are very likely to find that your wife starts telling you how wonderful you are and how much she loves you and enjoys being with you.  When your wife starts talking to you like that, your children are going to overhear her at some point…and very likely they are going to start telling you what a great dad you are and how much they love you and enjoy spending time with you.  What happens to you in the process?  Your loneliness–that ache in your inner man that feels alone and isolated and hurting–is going to be healed.  You’re going to feel more courage and strength than you’ve felt before.

As you continue to go to God in open, free-to-be-yourself vulnerability and continue to praise and worship Him with your entire being, your love for Him is going to grow…your love from and for your wife is going to grow, your love from and for your children is going to grow, and your love for yourself is going to grow so that you can appreciate the good things that God is doing for you and in you and through you.  But as long as you starve God of the praises due Him, you are going to be starving yourself of the praises that you need.  You’ll find yourself living in an emotional wasteland, without love and deep appreciation from the very people with whom you should have the most loving relationships.

          Now the purpose of our praise is not for our benefit, but as most often the case, God “will reward those who diligently seek Him.”  Our praise then is to make us feel comfortable in the presence of the King, our Holy God. The more we rejoice in Him, the greater our feeling of acceptance in His presence.

          Over the past several years, we have learned that Praise and Worship is not just the “preliminary” part of our church service.  It is the integral part of escorting us into the Presence of the Almighty.  Testimonies have been shared of how during the Praise and Worship, miracles have taken place. Miracles happen in God’s Throne room, not in a church service.



A guy walks into the human resources department of a large company and hands the executive his application. The executive begins to scan the sheet, and notices that the applicant has been fired from every job he has ever held.

“I must say,” says the executive, “your work history is terrible.  You’ve been fired from every job.”

“Yes,” says the man.

“Well,” continues the executive, “there’s not much positive in that.”

“Hey!” says the guy as he pokes the application. “At least I’m not a quitter.”



A recent study showed the average husband only actually speaks to his wife about 37 minutes each week.

Well, yeah, I can believe that.  I mean, just how long does it take to say, “Uh-huh,” or “Yes dear,” or “I’m sorry”?



          “The late astronaut James Irwin said, “You might think going to the moon was the most scientific project ever but they literally ‘threw us’ in the direction of the moon.  We had to adjust our course every ten minutes and landed only inside fifty feet of the five hundred mile radius of our target.”  Life, like this trip to the moon is full of changes.  There is nothing so permanent as change.

          “When you can’t change the direction of the wind- adjust your sails,” (Max Dupree). We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are.  He who stops changing ceases growing. People hate change, yet it is the only thing that brings growth.

          “Everyone wants to change the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. “Poverty and shame shall be him that refuseth instruction: but he that regardeth reproof shall be honored’  (Prov 13:18).  Unacceptance  of the present creates a future. ‘Happy is he man whom God corrected.’ (Job 5:17).  ‘Better to be pruned to grow than cut up to burn,’ said John Trapp.  A bad habit never goes away by itself. ‘It’s always an undo-it-yourself project.’ (Abigail Van Buren)

          Proverbs 13:19 (LV) says, ‘It is pleasant to see plans develop. That is why fools refuse to give them up even when they are wrong.’ Wise people sometimes change their minds – fools never do.  Be open to God’s change in your plans.  It is a sign of strength to make changes when necessary.

          The longer a man is in error, the surer he is he’s right. Defending your faults and errors only proves that you have no intention of quitting them. An obstinate man does not hole opinions – they hold him.

          Where we cannot invent we can at least improve.  A ‘sensational new idea’ is sometimes just an old idea with its sleeves rolled up.  If you itch for ideas, keep on scratching. Everybody is in favor of progress. It’s the change they don’t like. Constant change is here to stay.  Most people are willing to change, not because they see the light, but because they feel the heat.

          Great ideas still need change, adaptation and modification in order to prosper and succeed.  Henry Ford forgot to put a reverse gear in his first automobile. Few knew of his oversight. Few don’t know of his success. Success and growth are unlikely if you always do things the way you’ve always done them.

          Change is Good

          John L. Mason, You’re Born an Original: Don’t Die a Copy.


A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.

“Why do we have to learn this stuff?” The young man blurted out.

“To save lives,” the professor responded before continuing the lecture.

A few minutes later the student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?”

The professor stared at the student for a long time. “Physics saves lives,” he said, “because it keeps the idiots out of medical school.”


Frustrated father: “When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But in my son’s room, he has his own color TV, phone, computer, and CD player.”

Friend: “So what do you do?”

Frustrated father: “I send him to MY room!”


Two sea monsters were swimming around in the ocean, looking for something to do.  They came up underneath a ship that was hauling potatoes.  Bob, the first sea monster, swam underneath the ship, tipped it over and ate everything on the ship.

 A little while later, they came up to another ship, again hauling potatoes.  Bob again capsizes the ship and eats everything onboard.

The third ship they found was also hauling potatoes and Bob once again capsized it and ate everything.

Finally his buddy Bill asked him, “Why do you keep tipping over those ships full of potatoes and eating everything on board?”

Bob replied, “I wish I hadn’t, but I just can’t help myself once I start.  Everyone knows you can’t eat just one potato ship.”



          What does God think about your future? We find the answer in the book of Jeremiah (29:11, NIV): “I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” All of what we are, good and bad, is what we have thought and believed.  What you have become is due to the price you paid to get what you used to want.

          All of the important battles we face will be waged within ourselves.  Nothing great has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that God was superior to any circumstance. First John 4:4 says, “Greater is he who is in you than he who is in the world.”

          Don’t put water in your own boat; the storm will put enough in on its own.  Don’t dream up thousands of reasons why you can’t do what you want to; find one reason why you can.  It is easier to do all the things you should do than spend the rest of your life wishing you had.  The first key victory you must win is over yourself. “You can’t consistently perform in a manner that is inconsistent with the way you see yourself.” Says Zig Ziglar.

          Building a case against yourself is like a microscope – it magnifies trifling things but cannot receive great ones.  To keep from building a case against yourself; multiply your prayer time, divide the truth from a lie, subtract negative influences and add God’s Word.  We like the loudest when we lie to ourselves. Both faith and fear may sail into your harbor, but allow only faith to drop anchor.

          Dismiss all the Cases you’ve made against yourself.

          John L. Mason, You’re Born an Original: Don’t Die a Copy




From Pastor Steven Becker of the Theresa Presbyterian Church in New York:  Reading from Mark 1:9 one Sunday morning, he transposed a couple of words and said, “At that time Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptized by Jordan in the John.”


Johnny was at his first day of school. The teacher advised the class to start the day with the pledge of allegiance, and instructed them to put their right hands over their hearts and repeat after him.

He looked around the room as he started the recitation, “I pledge allegiance to the flag…” When his eyes fell on Johnny, he noticed Johnny’s hand over the right cheek of his buttocks.

“Johnny, I will not continue till you put you hand over your heart.”

Johnny replied, “It is over my heart.”

After several attempts to get Johnny to put his hand over his heart, the teacher asked, “Why do you think that is your heart?”

“Because every time my Grandma comes to visit, she picks me up, pats me here, and says, ‘Bless your little heart,’ and my Grandma wouldn’t lie.”


Showing Real Faith

A grandfather was walking past his young granddaughter’s room one night when he saw her kneeling beside her bed, with head bowed and hands folded, repeating the alphabet.

“What are you doing?” he asked her.

She explained, “I’m saying my prayers, but I couldn’t think of just what I wanted to say. So I’m just saying all the letters of the alphabet, and God can put them together however he thinks best.”



I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology. The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with. Her last project of the term was called “Smile.” The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions. I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway, so, I thought, this would be a piece of cake, literally.

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald’s one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special play time with our son. We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did.

I did not move an inch…an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved.

As I turned around I smelled a horrible “dirty body” smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men. As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was “smiling”. His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God’s Light as he searched for acceptance. He said, “Good day” as he counted the few coins he had been clutching. The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend.  I realized the second man was mentally deficient and the blue eyed gentleman was his salvation.

I held my tears as I stood there with them. The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted. He said, “Coffee is all Miss” because that was all they could afford (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm).

Then I really felt it – the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes. That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action. I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray. I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue eyed gentleman’s cold hand. He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, “Thank you.”

I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, “I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope.” I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, “That is why God gave you to me, Honey. To give me hope.”

We held hands for a moment and at that time we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give. We are not church goers, but we are believers. That day showed me the pure Light of God’s sweet love.

I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand. I turned in “my project” and the instructor read it. Then she looked up at me and said, “Can I share this?” I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class. She began to read and that is when I knew that we, as human beings and being part of God, share this need to heal people and be healed.

In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald’s, my husband, son, instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student.

I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn: UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE. Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS -NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE.

          From Pastor Don:  Now who will you smile at today?


The Benefits of Ginkgo Balboa 

My wife bought me a bottle of something called “ginkgo balboa.”  It’s some sort of herb that’s supposed to help you remember things.

“Did you take your ginkgo?” my wife asks. I can’t remember,” I answer.

Did you ever walk into a room and ask yourself, “What did I want in here?”

Did you ever make a pot of coffee without coffee grinds?

Did you ever wonder why the toast isn’t ready?

Did you ever make a phone call and in the time it takes to dial the number you forgot who it was you’re calling?

“Who is this?” you say.  “Never mind who is this,” the other party answers. “Who is this?”  So, in frustration, you hang up.  Yesterday, after leaving the house, I sat in my car for a few minutes wondering if I remembered to lock the front door. So I got out of the car and tried the door, and, indeed, I had locked it.  I got back into my car and sat there wondering if I remembered to shut off the stove. So I went back into the house. “Why did I come in here?” I asked myself. “Oh, yes,” I recalled, “to check the stove.” So I made sure I turned everything off, got back into the car and wondered if I remembered to lock the front door.  This went on for a while until I forgot why I was leaving the house in the first place. I knew I had an appointment, but with whom?  So I walked back into the house and asked myself, “Why did I come in here?”       

“Oh, yes,” I recalled, “my appointment book.” So I retrieved my appointment book, got back into the car, opened the book, and realized I forgot my glasses. So I went back into the house to get my glasses. It’s a good thing I did because I had left the front door unlocked. I opened the door, and asked myself, “Why did I come in here? Oh yes,” I recalled, “my glasses.”

But I forgot where I put them.  So I called my wife at work to ask her if she knew where they were.  “Who’s this?” I said. 

“This is your wife,” she answered.

“Hi Hon,” I said.

“Hi, Dear,” she replied. “What’s up?”

“What’s up?”

“Why did you call?”

“I called to … uh … I called to … say I love you.” Then I hung up.  A few minutes later, I called her back and asked her if she knew where my glasses were.

“Don’t you remember?” she said. “You sat on them and they’re being repaired.  You were supposed to be at the optometrist 10 minutes ago.”

So I called my optometrist to apologize for being late and to tell him I was on my way.  “Who’s this?” I said.

“Never mind who’s this,” he answered. “Who’s this?”  I hung up.    

Then I got back into the car and wondered if I locked the front door.


A minister, having served the same church for many years, decided to leave and take a similar position in another church. Without telling anyone he had made this decision or writing a letter to the congregation, he waited until Sunday morning to announce his resignation in church. When he spoke to the congregation he said, “The same Jesus that called me to this church many years ago has now called upon me to leave and serve another church.”

The choir all stood and sang, “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.”


The future father-in-law asked, “Young man, can you support a family?”

The surprised groom-to-be replied, “Well, no.  I was just planning to support your daughter.  The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves.”


A church had to hire a new pastor.  Over the protests of one vocal male member a woman was hired as the new senior pastor.

After the new pastor had been there a few weeks, a member of the congregation offered to take then new pastor fishing.  The vocal objector reluctantly agreed to allow them to use his boat and to go along.

The trio got into the boat and motored out on the lake.  When they got ready to fish, they realized that all their tackle had been left on the dock. One of the men commented that he guess they would just have to go back and get it.

The pastor said that wouldn’t be necessary, and she got out of the boat and started walking across the water toward the dock.

The old grouch said, “See I told you we never should have hired that woman. She can’t even swim.”



A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, “Who would like this $20 bill?” Hands started going up. Then he said, “I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this.”

He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up. He then asked, “Who still wants it?”

Still the hands were up in the air. “Well,” he replied, “What if I do  this?”

And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty.  “Now who still wants it?” Still the hands went into the air.

“My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives,  we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we  make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless, but no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value in God’s eyes. To Him, dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to  Him.

You are special – Don’t ever forget it!

Pastor Don



Three Pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said “Ya know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church.  I’ve tried everything–noise, spray, cats–nothing seems to scare them away.

Another said “Yea, me too.  I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in the narthex attic.  I’ve even had the place fumigated, and they won’t go away.”

The third said, “I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church…  Haven’t seen one back since!!!”


Like a lot of husbands throughout history, Webster would sit down and try to talk to his wife.  But as soon as he would start to say something, his wife said, “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

Thus, Webster’s Dictionary was born



“[GOD] thought of everything, provided for everything we could possibly need, letting us in on the plans he took such delight in making.  He set it all out before us in Christ, a long-range plan in which everything would be brought together and summed up in him, everything in deepest heaven, everything on planet earth.”  Ephesians 1:8-10  The Message Bible.

Being a person who enjoys detail work, I like to go through a particular project and view it from the perspective of the one on the other side of that project.  Since my father was a deacon most of my childhood, I always review the Church Board Agendas from a deacon’s point of view, not just from the pastor’s perspective.  I like the feeling when a service, or a special event goes smoothly because all the “little” details were attended to.  It is frustrating to attend an event when everything is “make do” “on the fly” situations.

But occasionally I find myself in the situation of the young couple getting ready for a day away from home.  Making sure that all the picnic supplies were adequately packed and that all the essentials for a great outdoor meal were readied, they proceeded to pack the van.  All the blankets, and tablecloths, toys and equipment were stowed neatly in the trunk.  The basket of food, the extra snacks, the cooler and the deserts were stacked neatly in the back seat.  The maps and information on the campsite were folded and placed on the front seat.  Everything was in order as they went through the last minute preflight checklist. 

As they started backing out of the driveway they suddenly realized that they had forgotten just one thing…….. the children.

God takes great delight in laying out every detail of our lives.  He has put everything in order for an exciting adventure in life.  But most of all He doesn’t forget the detail of us.  He never leaves us out. So today, God has an exciting day planned for you.  He has all the gear together.  He has packed your vehicle of travel.  He has ordered the place of rest and peace.  His Blessings are waiting for you.

            Pastor Don





I can’t come in to work today because I’ll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work.  Okay?

I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant.

Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh?  So, I won’t be able to, yes, could I help you?  No, no, I’ll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.

I just found out that I was switched at birth.  Legally, I shouldn’t come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.

The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session.  He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won’t bite things when I am startled.

The dog ate my car keys.  We’re going to hitchhike to the vet.

I prefer to remain an enigma.

I can’t come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.

I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.

I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.

I refuse to travel to my job until there is a commuter tax. I insist on paying my fair share.

I’ve used up all my sick days…so I’m calling in dead!

I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly e*log(pi) clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled up Times.  Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.

* * * * *



**CUT OFF TOP:  Lord, open my mind and fill me with your wisdom and guidance.

**SCOOP OUT YUCKIES:  Lord, take out all my fussies and frownies and fill me with your love.

**CARVE EYES:    Lord, open my eyes to see all of the beautiful things You  have made.

**CARVE NOSE:   Lord, help me to be a sweet, sweet fragrance to You.

**CARVE MOUTH:  Lord, help me always speak Your words of love and kindness.

**CANDLE:  Lord, let me be a light to others because You have filled me with your Light.


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