HE WON’T GIVE UP ON YOU
The wife replies, “He had a paper route.”
THERE’S NO NEED TO HIDE
After an hour of “Just a little more white, two squirts of blue, a dash of black, perhaps a tad more white,” the paint-store clerk got my gallon to the exact shade I wanted. With a sigh of relief, he pounded the lid on. “Now what do I do if I need more paint?” I asked. “Don’t come back here,” he begged. ..
JUST ONE
The computer in my high school classroom recently started acting up. After watching me struggle with it, one of my students took over. “Your hard drive crashed,” he said.I called the computer services office and explained, “My computer is down. The hard drive crashed.””We can’t just send people down on your say-so.” “How do you know that’s the problem?” “A student told me,” I answered. “We’ll send someone over right away.” …
PAGANINI’S VIOLIN
A construction worker accidentally cuts off one of his ears with an electric saw.He calls out to a guy walking on the street below, “Hey, do you see my ear down there?”The guy on the street picks up an ear and yells back, “Is this it?””No,” replies the construction worker. “Mine had a pencil behind it.” ..
WHEN YOU’RE WAITING
PERSISTENCE
From THE BEST OF THE WORD FOR TODAY.
A: A deserter. .. The old pastor made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week.He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names. He jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states. One lad raised his hand and said, “Yes, but in those days there were only 13.” …
DO YOU FEEL USED?
From THE BEST OF THE WORD FOR TODAY.
A strawberry and a cucumber grew up in the same garden patch. They were best buds growing up. As they grew older, they decided it was time to branch out, leave home, and see the world. So they hitched a ride on a nearby vegetable cart and took off. Their first stop was at a local farmer’s market. Unfortunately, that’s where the trouble started. A big row broke out and they got separated, one of them ending up in a jam and the other in a pickle. …
MORE ABOUT WALKING WITH GOD
YOU’LL ALSO EXPERIENCE THE GREATEST JOY YOU’VE EVER KNOWN-AND BRING CREDIT TO HIS NAME
DID NOAH FISH? A Sunday school teacher asked, “Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?””No,” replied Johnny. “How could he, with just two worms.” …
CALL IT GRACE
STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM* I would have given him 100%! * Each answer is absolutely grammatically correct, and funny too. *
Q7.. What looks like half an apple?*
Q8.. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what will it become?*
Q9.. How can a man go eight days without sleeping?*
Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?*
Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have?*
Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?*
Q13. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?*
Spread some laughter, share the cheer. Let’s be happy, while we’re here!
A NEW MEASURING ROD
I would have given him 100%! * Each answer is absolutely grammatically correct, and funny too. *
Q1.. In which battle did Napoleon die?*
Q2.. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?*
Q3.. River Ravi flows in which state?*
Q4.. What is the main reason for divorce?*
Q5.. What is the main reason for failure?*
Q6.. What can you never eat for breakfast?*